Monday, 09 March 2009

• An experience I never wanted to have!

  My 10 week old son will be having a routine surgery on Thursday, the 12th. He was born with an inguinal hernia and it is not something that can repair itself. I am mentally flipin' out while at the same time I know that this is the absolute best time possible for him to have it repaired. He isn't mobil yet, we are still exclusively breast feeding, and he won't remember a thing about it.

  I have always been a "my kids never been to the hospital" bragger but that changed (this last year due to my youngest daughter having gotten staples twice and glued back together once) to my kids have never been admitted to the hospital.... now I am in the group of my child has to / had surgery. I keep asking myself what could I have done different when he was in the womb (that is when it happened), while I know that there is likely nothing I could have done to prevent it I am still asking.

  He is my angel, my God child. It took only once to place him here on this earth, in my family and he is an amazing blessing. Yes, damit, I am scared, routine or not it is still dangerous and the possibilty is there that something could go wrong and he would be gone from my life. I could not bear that. I will not say anymore I just had to let that out.

  So I am gonna flip put some more and pray like I have never prayed in my entire life till Thursday....

  • 10:20 PM
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