Friday, 24 April 2009

• Life...crazy, safe and sane!

  This last month has been hectic and nutty, between the holiday and finally getting a tempory order in place so that my ex could have visitation with our children. So I have had my "babies daddy" drama and my boyfriend has had his "baby momma" drama!

  I'll start with his drama....so DHS started taking child support out of his check for his son, which is perfectly ok, great even....I don't have to work it in with the bills as it is paid every week, but L as we will call her, demanded the money we had already set aside for her and decided to use their son as a means to get it. WTF is wrong with people who care nothing for their kids feelings and make it all about the money?!?!?!? Ok so after a few nasty phone calls from her and texts she stopped, until it came time for our weekend. She called early in the morning on that Friday and as my BF is deaf I could hear everything she said. It made me sick to hear just how much the money meant to her and her sons feelings didn't count. But I had talked to my BF about his rights and told him not to back down when it came to getting his son for the weekend. It also amazes me how calm he was when being faced with the possibilty of her not "letting" him have his visitation and because he stayed firm she relented and we were albe to get him for the weekend and the holiday. Again I am constantly wondering how can a parent care more about the money than the childs feelings on seeing the other parent?

  On to my drama.....begining of the month I get a phone call from my ex's ex wife, telling me that I have to drop the protective order so D (2 of my babies daddy) could have his rights....back in Feb he could have shown up to court and the tempory order would have been put in place then but I was the only one to show. I paid my attorney extra to draft one and have it sent to his attorney who sat on it till the begining of this month. I am not at fault for him being unable to see his children and it broke my heart everytime my daughter would ask for her daddy. At the same time I could not let her go see him without a custody order in place due to the fact that he took her into hiding while I was giving birth to our son. So I kindly explained that to ex wife, but she would hear none of it. I am sad that my relationship with her is in such a bad place because now I can't see or talk to my stepson who is half brother to 2 of my children. I love him very much but I would not ask him to betray his mom or dad by talking to me. I have this neat little feature on my phone, the reject list and any number added to it will go straight to voice mail and texts are kicked back, I had to add her to it because she decided to start non stop texts and phone calls. On to the relaity of the tempory order.....I was prepared to let the kids see/meet (as in my 3 1/2 month old son) their dad....counted on him wanting to see them....nope he hopped into his truck and left the state. So again he decided not to see his kids. 3 weeks later he comes back, I set it up for our daughter to go see him and our son to go over for 2 hrs each day, we are nursing buddies, and it goes very rough but in all ok. Then on Sunday I, trying to be nice, ask if he might want to see his son during the week. He promptly turned it into seeing our daughter and not our son and had me agreeing because he said he was going back out of town in 2 days. I did veto her staying the night, which made him very angry, but my kids need constancy and a middle of the wek overnight just doesn't happen. So I let him have an extra visit and when I went to pick her up he demanded to see her again in 2 more days....WTF.....he was supposed to be leaving the state again?! So I said I would  call him and let him know the next day. I was feeling so manipulated and lied to....I was so angry that he would use her and me that way.....I waited 2 days before I call him so I could be calm when I spoke to him. I let him know the above things and we had a small break through which became me agreeing to let her stay the night tonight and her coming home in the morning. He says he is leaving in the afternoon on Sat and won't be back for 3 weeks.    1. If he is stupid enough to take her again, there is an order in place which states that I have custody, and if he crosses state lines it becomes federal.    2. I wrote down a description of his truck and took pictures of it with my phone.   3. If he does not go out of town like he says he will, I will not allow any more out of order visitations. I am not doing this for him....it is for my 3 year old baby girl who LOVES her dad and needs to spend time with him.

  If you got this far I applaude you!!!! My disjointed writing and run on sentences must have caused a few headachs. But I feel better...lol!

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